Last week I found myself in a situation that caught me off guard. Someone close to me said something, decided something that felt like a bolt from the blue. It was unexpected, hurtful also, uncomfortable to say the least. Instead of acting I could only react, which made it even worse.
I felt offended and angry. I felt I had to defend and stand up for myself. I felt I had to explain myself and convince the other person of my talents and my worth. I felt I had to prove how wrong this other person was. In other words, I went into some kind of ego protection mode. But I snapped out of it really quickly, like magic. So what happened?
First, I took a moment to face all the feelings that were triggered by what was said. Nasty 15 minutes I can tell you ;-). Second, I realised that whatever someone says is a reflection of them and that there was really no need to explain, defend or sell myself. Finally, but most importantly, I thought about the core of the message. Then something shifted.
I realised from the heart that this person was right. I realised from the heart that it was the right thing to do, the right decision to take. I realised from the heart that I felt the exact same way but just didn’t have the courage to speak up, afraid of disappointing or hurting the other person. I realised from the heart that I had neglected to listen to my inner voice, my gut, my intuition. Because whatever this person said to me, she and I already knew. Someone just had to be the first to say it out loud.
Ever since this talk I feel freed, I feel lighter. I know I am on the right track, pursuing my dreams. And yes, I’ve solemnly sworn to myself never to ignore my gut feeling again. Especially not when it requires me to be less me.